What does a Winery have in common with a Zoo, you ask?  I am fortunate enough to live in a country that is famous for its wines: be they white, red or rose.  My country is also famous for its diversity of wild animals. Due to the poor state of the economy, businesses are all feeling the money-pinch, and could really use an extra hand especially on the weekends.

“Well, what’s in it for us lovers?”,  you ask again: working (and sweating) together, helping to build something worthwhile, also miraculously helps to build your affection and respect for each other.

For me, there’s nothing more romantic than wandering through a vineyard sipping my favorite wine on a beautiful day, hand in hand with my husband, as we listen to the fascinating details of the winery’s history.

So when my husband suggested we volunteer our time “working” at a nearby winery, the first thoughts were not romantic; I can assure you. However, to his credit and immense foresight, I must tell you it was a wonderful learning opportunity and we will do it again.

The wine tour is interesting but falls short in comparison to the “behind the shed”, hands-on, getting dirt between your nails, driving the tractor, tasting the grapes for fitness, day to day running of an authentic wine producing vineyard.

How to Volunteer Your Services

1. Determine the amount of time you want to donate to volunteering, and how consistently you will be able to volunteer. Even if you can only work a single weekend, that is still fine.

2. Contact your local Winery or Zoo by looking in the yellow pages, or checking their website and asking if there is a need for your service.

3. Depending on where and what you’re going to be doing, there might not be access to drinking water, air conditioning nor heat. Bring something to drink, dress appropriately for the weather, and don’t forget a hat and sunscreen in case you are going to be working outside.

4. Identify yourself to the site leader once you arrive, and find out what jobs need to be done. If you arrive early, you can usually choose what area you want to work in together. If you arrive late, you will generally be assigned to whatever task needs the most help.

I recently wrote an article about how there isn’t a heck of a lot more romantic to me, than a weekend volunteering your services at a winery. Well, that still remains true.  But if you want to be a little less sweaty, and want a bit more romantic imagery, and a little more smooching, cuddling and over-all indulgence, then maybe a tour is the thing for you.

Melbourne is the city for food lovers of any sort, and they certainly don’t skimp on the sweets. With plenty of chocolate cafes and even factories in the region, it’s no surprise that chocolate tours have taken off as well as they have.

We’re also a relatively short drive away from wine country, with the atypical rolling hills covered with rows of beautiful grapes. Most of the wineries are making accommodations for tourists by expanding out and having their own cafes, restaurants, bars and sometimes villas overlooking the vineyards.

Food and Wine tours are an excellent reason to be outdoors together, Whether in the city or country-side, while also indulging in some delicious treats and learning about the intricacies and fascination of wine.

Flexibility is a big bonus on many of these tours, as plenty of companies are more than willing to cater to special requests. Maybe your partner loves antiques and would like to stop at some special shops as well. Or perhaps you would enjoy a history buff who would love to visit some historical sites as well (though many chocolate cafes are historical in Melbourne!).

It never hurts to ask about possibilities, so make your day special!

Chocolate Tour

• Many tours like Chocoholic Tours (http://www.chocoholictours.com.au/) can help you make your day that much more special by including gift chocolate boxes .

• Not keen on a group tour? Many places offer private tours. Alternatively, you can go on a group tour and then stop back later when it’s just the two of you…

• Buy a chocolate tour gift voucher and use it as a surprise with one of the other romantic weekend suggestions like ‘The Unexpected Package’ or even ‘Love Coupons’.

Unless your partner really doesn’t like chocolate, you can’t go wrong with a chocolate tour.

Wine Tour

• You can choose a group tour where you will have fun and get to know people, or you can lean towards private romance by booking a custom tour.

• Transportation provided! You didn’t think they were going to let you drive by yourself after sampling all those lovely wines, did you? Don’t worry about a thing and feel like royalty as you are whisked around from winery to winery (as many tours include more than one).

• Food provided. Depending on the tour, it might cost a little extra, but I haven’t found a day or longer tour yet that doesn’t provide food. Wineries are often near to farm country and are proud to serve up local produce like cheeses and fruits.

• Accommodation provided (sometimes). Many wineries have since given up the private industry label and embraced tourism. Many offer bed and breakfast style rooms in the large houses that used to be the family home.

• Many tours are a good deal considering what you get. Transportation to multiple locations, food (often gourmet), wine (often award winning) and more…

You can combine your winery tour with a weekend away romance. You won’t want to be driving that night, so transport will be taking you to and from a hotel where you can keep the romance going for the whole weekend…

I work from home. Being a freelancer is pretty awesome in a lot of amazing ways, but there are drawbacks. For instance, there are many times when I have to work nights and weekends. With little to no social contact during the day, plus a husband who works at an office, one of the romantic things my husband can do is…

…call in sick on Friday.

I know, I know. It’s not the most ethical thing, but it’s practically Australian tradition to ‘chuck a sickie’ every now and then to stay home when you’re perfectly well. While I’m not sure how many Aussie guys would turn around and use it as a romantic surprise for their ladies, there’s no stopping you from doing it!

I can tell you that the extra, unplanned time with my husband is always amazing. but you know, my single friends who have just starting seeing someone new routinely call in sick as well….hmmm?

Tips for Making Your Long Weekend Special

• Sleep in late (of course!)

• If you have kids send them off to school as usual.

• Go out for breakfast (there are plenty of places that do all day brekkie or at least have it until lunch, so you can still sleep in).

• Go hand holding and window shopping at the shopping mall.

• Go out and do something you would do on the weekend but will be different on a weekday (cinema, city walk, etc)

Or…

• Have breakfast in bed

• Have everything you need for the day, so you don’t even have to get out of your pajamas.

• Watch adult movies in bed if you like that sort of thing.

• Play music loud and dance in your pajamas and fluffy slippers.

• Play strip poker.

• Play shark around the island: where, whoever gets out of bed has a short time to jump back in.

• Have brunch! Combine two awesome meals into one.

Alternatively, you can call in sick on Monday but more people are likely to be calling in sick on that day. You wouldn’t think so, but from all the office workers I have talked to, it’s true.

The wonderful thing about this romantic gesture is that you can surprise your partner with it. Heck, you can surprise yourself! We all have days when the thought of work is just too much. Why not turn it into a positive for both you and your love?

Just don’t do it very often, hey?

“My husband is in the military serving in Iraq and I worry about him everyday. But by far the most worry I have, next to him losing his life, is him losing interest in our relationship when he gets back. This is his 3rd tour. What should I do to keep the excitement even when we’re miles away?

-Military Wife”

I salute your husband for his bravery.  He is a hero and so are you. We all love to receive mail. Letters, books, or packages… it’s all fun to us. Shortly after I moved to Australia, I became a book reviewer and began receiving a lot of mail. My husband joked that it wasn’t fair I was receiving so much more mail than he did – and then he forgot about the comment.

But I didn’t.

Being sure to include his favorite things like dark chocolate, a funny card and some things that promised more fun when he arrived home, I created a package that brought a smile to his face all day – and all night.

Make the Package Fun

• Make the packaging ordinary. Type up the address label if you can. You can leave a hint or two so your partner doesn’t completely ignore it, but fancy packaging will give away the fact that it’s a fun surprise.

• Send a little something on a regular basis. He will learn to expect this after awhile and those care packages sure bring a smile to the faces of our military men and women.

• Try waiting for a time when you know your partner will really appreciate the signs of affection. Perhaps when a big stressful military operation is underway or when the work grind is getting a bit difficult.

A Word of Caution

Although this is a fun idea with so many possibilities, keep in mind you are sending these things to your partner’s workplace. Do you know for sure that your partner is the person who actually opens his/her mail? Admittedly, that’s not something I thought about when I did this for the first time, but I got lucky. You might not be.

Unless you hand deliver – and even then – think before you send.

But… The Weekend?

So you’re probably wondering how this qualifies as a romantic weekend. Therein lies a lot of the fun. If you’re up for the extra work, you can send your partner a little piece of something every month to prepare for the first very romantic week and into the weekend when he gets home.

Perhaps you start with a piece of clothing from your lingerie drawer on Month 1 and end with a sexily clad picture of you near the end of his tour. A weekend away more your style? Start with a pair of sunglasses on Month 1 and progress all the way to an airline ticket to an island paradise.

As you ought to know, build up is key, so this is an excellent way to get your partner looking forward to the weekend…

“My problem is not what to do when the switch is turned on, actually I’m pretty good in that department. The question are, who turns on the switch? Where is the switch?  What time should we turn on the switch, and which switch?

Any suggestions.

- JM”

It’s not always easy knowing what would make a weekend romantic for your partner. You might think a weekend away would be the perfect treat when your partner would like to stay home for a long warm bath and a favorite movie. Having to plan ahead for a special weekend can make it even more of a lottery, as you have no control over what your partner’s work week will be like.

Bring in the Love Coupons.

Whether you present your lover with an entire booklet of coupons or one coupon at a time, the idea of love coupons is giving your partner the freedom to indulge in something romantic whenever he/she cares to do so. The spontaneity of it can make things fun for you, too, depending on what kind of things you put on your coupons…

Love Coupon Ideas

• Do the dishes nude

• Massage – full body, foot, head

• Uninterrupted bath (and/or candlelight)

• Movie night

• Candlelit dinner

• Big kiss

• Romantic dance together

• Romantic picnic

• Breakfast in bed

• Open wish ( I like this one)

You can get as creative – and naughty – as you would like with these coupons. All you have to do is make sure you’re good for it whenever the time comes. These coupons don’t have expiration dates… unless you want to make your weekend very interesting.

Now don’t use them all on one weekend, but who am I to say – go baby it’s your birthday turn on all the switches and light up the house!

Recently, I heard the heads of the three major hotel chains lamenting on the fact that business travel is up, but leisure travel is still waning.

Here is another idea to bring couples into hotels on the weekends. How about an Adult Sleep Over Package: including a combination of rooms, a food & beverage component and a “play” suite for entertainment purpose only, with two distinct themes each night?

Two nights, two different themes: Friday night is Game Night and Saturday night is Movie Night. This event would be staged in one of your hotel’s luxurious (but empty) suites and it’s designed for 2 to 4 couples staying over.

Game Night

• Game console attached to a big flat screen TV; preferably the Wii with an ample choice of games.

• Oversized board games; for example monopoly, scrabble or checkers.

• Active word games such as Pictionary, Taboo or Trivial Pursuit.

• Traditional candies and finger food.

• A selection of 70’s & 80’s records in a juke box.

• Strobe lights, disco ball with oversized bean bags, and floor cushions to sit on.

Movie Night

The in-your-room entertainment package already has the newest, most brilliant movies on demand. The package would include all pay-per-view movies available at the time.

Some of the movies on today include:

• Robin Hood starring Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett

• Get Him to the Greek starring Jonah Hill, Russell Brand Sean Puffy Combs

• Prince of Persia with Jake Gyllenhaal and Gemma Arterton

• Harry Brown starring Michael Caine and Emily Mortimer

• Killers stars Ashton Kutcher, Katherine Heigl and Tom Selleck

And what’s a good movie night without pop-corn, hot dogs, cotton candy and soda pops.

Just for the occasion, custom speakers will be strategically placed around the room to create a movie theatre-like enhanced surround sound experience.

Planning this is straight forward, corporate travel is slowly increasing but transient travelers are either fishing for discounts or waiting for a compelling reason to travel. The most severe hunger pangs are coming from the luxury portion of the hotel chain business, however the upper class scale brands are also feeling it. I suggest introducing romantic weekend packages, they will add incremental value to your overall REVPAR.

This plan needs props, a good planner and commitment from a major hotel chain……call me!

- Mr. Scared

I suggest that you get professional help from a very competent and experience marriage counselor who can provide solid advice and would be able to lead you both in the right direction.

I also encourage you to re-ignite your relationship, my thought is that you both need a make-over experience, one where you will get an opportunity to revamp your physical appearance as well as to stroke those deep nerves of emotions and attraction you both had for each other.

Couples Make-Over Experience

HER

• Start off with facial and nail appointments it’s the first stage of a total beautification.
• Arrange an appointment at one of the best and most popular hair stylist in town. Sometime women by default maintain the same hair style for years because she is comfortable with it.
• Set-up a teeth whitening procedure at your family dentist and if you have the resources include a hair removal visit into the experience.

YOU

• Get a hair cut, if you can get a goatee, which always presents a more masculine look.
• Get your teeth whitened too.
• Buy a new cologne not fruity, more might I say machismo.

BOTH

• Go shopping at the mall look for outfits sexy enough to dance in. You need an array of outfits for her to choose from; later on she will model them for you.
• Have her pick-up dinner on the way home, while you go ahead to arrange music, wine and the make shift catwalk for her to model the clothing you bought.

Spend the even and into the night frolicking playfully like teenagers, laughing, feeding each other, watching a movie and drinking wine.

Why would one “reward” anyone for potentially jeopardize the relationship you ask?

Whether it is reverse psychology, or turning the other cheek you want her freshest thoughts of you to be amazing, sensual, loving and not grumpy, stingy, nor cold. As to the rest of her thoughts you have no control over those.

Reminiscent of an oldie but goodie song by The Manhattans/ The Casinos : “Kiss me each morning for a million years, Hold me each evening  by your side, Tell me you’ll love me for a million years, And if it don’t work out then you can tell me goodbye”.

Now what?  A House, children, middle-age, and retirement.   You have a lot to look forward to, but you also have manuals, magazines, advisors and ponzi schemes, all designed to lead you one way or another. You can even find a divorce lawyer on every corner who would be happy to help you leave if you need to.

What you need my friend is a plan to love – just take it one weekend at a time.  Who knows what tomorrow brings. All I know is, next week we’re going to Bush Gardens, and in September we’re going to a concert in Seattle and  in………Ok you get the picture.

Both my wife and I work really stressful and demanding jobs, and we also have a child. We have long term plans: savings, retirement  etc; but it’s the short term plans that make us really excited. This is how we plan our weekend rendezvous:

• Agree on favorite events and experiences you can do together, such as concerts or mountain climbing.

1. These, we call “Big Rocks”, like Franklin Covey says, we “put them in the bucket first”. They are few, and could be the only thing we do all summer.  For example: a yearly summer concert  trip.
2. Get “Smaller Rocks” to fill the empty spaces.  These are the extended weekend trips that take us out of town.  We’ve always wanted to visit Toronto, Canada, in the Fall, so we’re doing that in November. You have to be really cost conscious on these, so plan months ahead.
3. Toss in the “Pebbles”.  These are the most important components.  Besides big family reunions, and work engagements, all my weekends belong to my family. My wife and I have “movie nights”, “dance nights”, “culinary experience nights”, “nude weekends” (without the kid), “rude weekends” filled with fantasy and sensual pleasures, and the list goes on.

• Use your calendar effectively.  Make sure both of you are in agreement here: cancellations because you didn’t communicate are disappointing.  Surprises are a different matter.

• Do your research about the experience leading up to the date, and share them with each other.  This helps to build the anticipation and thrill factor.

• Pre-plan all components, even the simplest, such as transportation from the airport. Weekends and “Winging It” just don’t work together very well. In my experience my wife expects this from me (you know us men), and it’s always a point of contention; therefore I over-plan. You also have access to better rates when you do this.

• Work out a budget and stick to it.  Financial arguments are the number one reason people fall apart. By planning meticulously and early, you avoid this up front, and have access to more availability and sales.

Weekends are for lovers.  Your relationship with your significant other needs this.

With the divorce rate hovering around 50%, and with 25% of that group never even making it past 9 years together , we all need this.

Plan your Weekend Rendezvous with much anticipation.  Steal away together to a local hotel for the night (the One Night Stand – 52 Romantic Weekends) or, if money is tight, then play a secret game at home (the S Challenge – 52 Romantic Weekends).

Here’s the point: on your wedding day you envisioned a lifetime together, don’t let the worries of life defeat you on this journey.  You’re stronger than that!

Now make no mistake about it, the worries of life are formidable.  The top three reasons people get divorced are: money, infidelity and poor communication.

According to labor stats, in comparison to the world: Americans have less opportunity to spend “quality” time with their loved ones, with an average of only 10 days off per year.  So, if you’re waiting for the summer vacation to spice up (or patch up) things with the spouse, that might not be enough.

The good news is, the uncertain economy is helping to form a new trend in our travel habits: Weekend Travel.

Almost 30% of Americans have taken up to five or more weekend trips in the past year. Interestingly, this new trend seems to be hurting the longer trips lasting more than a week, where 43% of travelers claim they are taking fewer long trips, in comparison to five years ago.

What does that tell us: the way to go is short trips, compact doses of fun, less over-all cost, and more diversity of experience. Scientifically there is even a term that describes why this is such a great idea; it’s called The Adaptation-Level Phenomenon. This is the tendency people have to quickly adapt to a new experience, until that experience becomes the norm. Once the new situation is normal, another new experience is needed — it constantly raises the level for what is new or exciting as each new thing becomes the norm.

We are husbands and wives first, before we assume the roles of fathers, mothers, CEO’s, teachers, actors and mega sport stars. All we need is to put the priority into improving our relationship, one amazing weekend at a time.

With the stress of being an adult in the modern world, it is way too easy to forget the fun things in life. One of the most fun experiences from my childhood that my husband still does for me is create an air of expectation whenever he has presents for me. Be it a hint of something good to come before he arrives home with flowers or letting me know something is coming in the mail before a birthday, he is always sure to create suspense before the actual event.

Creating suspense when you know the end can only bring pleasure is a very romantic thing you can do for your partner – and you will enjoy setting it up as well as the end result!

How to Set Up a Scavenger Hunt:

• Decide where you want your partner to go ‘hunting’. Home will make it more intimate, but something larger in a park or city can hold more possibilities.
• Plan out ‘the trail’. Each present should fairly easily lead to the next, so decide where you want your partner to be taken during the hunt. If the hunt ends in the bedroom, then you don’t want your partner peeking inside to early.
• Pick out gifts and hiding places. The gifts can be whatever you want but fairly small so there is at least a little bit of looking around involved for where you hide them. Being too obvious takes a bit of the fun out of it.
• Give yourself ample time to set up.

Of course, saying ‘gifts’ is easy, but what to get?

Gift Ideas

*Chocolates

*Chocolate (or other flavour) body paint

*Books

*Feathers

*Blindfolds/ Handcuffs

*Movie/Theatre tickets

*Charms (with the bracelet for the charms being the final gift)

The beauty of this romantic weekend is in the flexibility of what you can do. You can have a theme with all the gifts going along with that theme, you can make everything a bit naughty or even lead your partner around a park or city rather than in your home.

The limit really is your imagination, so have fun with it.