A group of my friends (all men) were having a conversation on the topic of women faking it during sex. The general consensus was – who cares. Out of the five men, I was the only one pushing the issue (Ok honey, I represented) 3 of the men were married, and the other 2 were dating.

Eighty percent of women have faked an orgasm, according to a new study from Gail Brewer and Colin Hendrie from the Universities of Leeds and Central Lancashire. Granted the survey only cover 71 women, the study made up in depth what it lacked in breadth.

Researchers broke down sex noises into categories, such as “silence,” “moan/groan,” “scream/shriek/squeal,” “words” (such as “yes,” “more,” or a partner’s name). They followed up by asking women why they made each noise, and it rarely had anything to do with orgasms. Most of the time women were faking sounds to influence or, in the study’s words, “manipulate” partners, but not necessarily in a devious way. In short, they wanted to speed things up.

The research showed that boredom, fatigue, discomfort,” and “time limitations” were all reasons women artificially enhance the moment.

However the main reason women fake it, is to simply keep their men happy:

According to this extract from BlogHer magazine, Susan Reisman wrote Is faking an orgasm anti-feminist? she pointed out that the figure of 80% of women faking it is really no surprise.

“I knew that faking orgasms can be very common among my fellow females, but how many women admit that they do it in public? Back in 2005, Will Doig at Nerve interviewed Maureen Dowd about her book, Are Men Necessary?, and asked her if she’d be willing to say she’d ever faked one, and she said, “No. That is way, way, way too personal.” I suppose it also depends if one would admit to faking it if she cared about her partner’s (or ex-partner’s) feelings on the matter. Three years ago, feminist Fay Weldon posited in her book, What Makes Women Happy, that the ladies should just give up on trying to have orgasms and fake it to make their male partners happy”.

Is that it, end of story. Man rolls over and kiss goodnight, thinking I rocked her world and soon start snoring. Woman stay up reading a book, thinking maybe I got next – the next go around will be mine, maybe he was just tired.

Is faking it fair game, is it acting – and in turn fun to do. Is it just like little boys paying close attention to Sports Center as Ken Griffey jr. hits a home run, is it the same for teens girls having exposure to porn, are they watching the reaction of the women on set, only to demonstrate the same reactions later in life?

Now men, if you’re like me wanting to be the best at whatever you do – oh rah! then you might really find this article enlightening – is she faking it. AskMen.com  has a 6 point identification list, feel free to go read it. I am not too concerned about that. I simply want to be more in-tuned to my spouse’s body and how it is reacting to my stimulation.

Here is the comparison – in the same way most men can tell when their beloved car needs an oil change or when the alternator is bugging out, it is the same exact way you are to know what’s up or down with your woman in bed!

Lovers use your senses, touch, taste, sight, smell and most importantly listen, really hear her. Not just the words and groans she makes, but more the guttural approvals and subtle commands she communicates when she is really turned on. Most importantly, always remember that love making doesn’t always end when the male climaxes. Use whatever else you have at your disposal, to bring a more satisfying end for all involved.